Ensemble Ibn Arabi - Sufi Music : Je T´Aaime De Deux Amours (My Love for You Is Twofold)

عرفت الهوى
I knew love
مذ عرفت هواك
Since I knew your love
واغلقت قلبي
And  I locked my heart
عمن عداك
To anyone but you
وقمت اناجيك
and I confided in you
يامن تري
You who can see
خفايا القلوب
What's hidden in the hearts
ولست اراك
and I cannot see you

احبك حبين
I love you two loves ;
حب الهوى
a love for the sake of love
وحبا لانك اهل لذاك
and a love because you are worthy of it
فاما الذي هو حب الهوى
as for the love for the sake of love;
فشغلي بذكرك عمن سواك
It is about having my mind busy with you
and no one else
واما الذي انت اهل له
and as for the love that you deserve
فلست ارى الكون حتى اراك
I cannot even see the Universe without seeing you
فلا الحمد في ذا وذاك لي
so the gratitude for this and that is not to me
ولكن لك الحمد في ذا وذاك
but to you is the praise for all this and that



ادم ذكري من اهوى
Keep the memory of whom I love 
ولو بمنامي
even if in my dream
فان احاديث الحبيب
for the conversation of the beloved
مدامي
is my wine
وانها بطيف منامي
and she is in the shadow of my sleep
ليشهد سمعي من احب
so that my hearing would witness whom I love
بروحي من اتلفت روحي
بحبها
I give my life to her
whose love with which
I ruined my soul
فحان حمامي
so my death arrived
قبل يوم حمامي
long before the day my death
ولم يبق الحب مني
and love didnt leave of me
الا حزني
except my sadness
و كابتي
and my depression

وفرط سقامي
and too much illness
لينجو خلي
so that my lover
من هوائي بنفسه
would save himself from my love
سليما
and be safe
ويا نفس اذهبي
and Oh Soul..Leave...
بالسلام
in Peace ....

Everything is ending... - Majda el Roumi - from Lebanon كل شي عم يخلص

كل شي عم يخلص

 Everything is ending...

الحب والاحلام

 The love and the dreams...

كل شي عم يخلص

 Everything is endning

الضجر والايام

 Boredom and time

الطريق عم يخلص

 The road is ending

ونحنا بالطريق

 and we are or the road

والضباب يغطي في الرصيف

 and the fog covers the sidewalk

خدني حبيبي عجّل خدني

Take me my beloved

Hurry up and take me

الدنيي عم بتغيب

 The world is disappearing

دخيلك خدني

 please take me

ماتضيعني في الليل الغريب

 dont lose me

in the stranger night

خدني حبيبي عجّل خدني

 Take me my beloved

Hurry up and take me

من قدام الباب 

 from in front of the door

خبيني فقلبك

 Hide me in your heart

لا تتركني وحدي بالضباب

 Dont leave me

alone in the fog

كل شي عم يخلص

 Everything is ending...

السهر والاعياد

 The parties and celebrations

والسفر عم ينده

 and travel calls

بمطارح بعاد

 to far away places

الخريف عم يخلص

 the fall is ending

ونحنا في الخريف

 and we are in the fall

والضباب يغطي في الرصيف

 and the fog is covering the sidewalk

كل شي عم يخلص

Everything is ending...

وجوه الاصحاب

 Friends faces,

 كل شي عم يخلص

Everything is ending...

ضحكات الاحباب

 The laughs of the beloved ones

والعيد رح يخلص

 and the holidays will be soon over

وانا بهالعيد

 and i am here in the holidays

وحدي يا حبيبي وانت بعيد

 Alone, my beloved

and you're so far ...

يا محمد بويه محمد Mohammad, my precious Mohammad

ولك سال
They poured
ولك سال
and poured
لغيرك ما يسل دمعي ولك سال
for other than for you
my tears never pour
ولك سال
they poured
ولك سال

and poured
وعليك القلب ما تدري
Dont you know that
because of you

ولك سل
my heart withered
ولك سال
They poured
ولك سال
and poured

ولك سال
and poured
يا خايب
You're such a looser
يوم عن حالي
just for once
ask about how I'm doing
ولك اسأل
Ask
ولك سل
It withered
ولك سال
They poured
تركتني وما تدري شصار بي

you left me
and
you have no idea
what happened to me
يا محمد بويه محمد
Mohammad, my precious Mohammad
قتلي ليش تتعمد
Why do you intentionally kill me

يا محمد خاف من الله
Mohammad
Fear God
يا محمد مو فوق الله
يا محمد مو هذا الله
That's not the way to go, Mohammad
عيوني محمد
You are my eyes, Mohammad
قليبي محمد
You are my little heart, Mohammad

يا محمد شنهو ذنبي
Oh, Mohammad
What guilt have i committed
بين عداي وترميني
that made you throw me
among my enemies
لو تدري النار اللي بقلبي تكويني وتاذيني
If you only knew
about the fire that's in my heart
that is burning me
and hurting me
عيوني محمد
You're my eyes , Mohammad
قليبي محمد
You're my heart, Mohammad
يا محمد يا نور العين
Mohammad, you are the light of my eyes
ياللي سبيت الصوبين
you have driven everyone crazy
both sides
دجلة وفرات النهرين
the two rivers
Euphrates and Dijlah

بويا محمد
My precious Mohammad
عمي محمد
My Darling Mohammad
this part down here is part of the song but not in this version
يللي اغلى من روحي
You are the one who is more dear to me
than my own soul

ليش تزيدني تعذيب
why are you
torturing me
more and more
حبك مرهم لجروحي
your love is an ointment
for my wounds
وجروحي برضاك تطيب
and my wounds
heal
when you are ok with me

عيوني محمد
You are my eyes, Mohammad
قليبي محمد
You are my little heart , Mohammad
يا محمد بويه محمد
Mohammad, My baby Mohammad
. قتلي ليش تتعمد
Why do you deliberately kill me
يا محمد خاف من الله
Mohammad, fear God
يا محمد مو هذا الله
That's not the right way
عيوني محمد
You are my eyes, Mohammad

بيع الجمل يا علي sell the camel, Ali : Samira Twfiq- The Gypsy from Jordan

قلبي افطر نصين
My heart was broken into two halves
هون وهون
here and here
وشلون يا ويلي اداري
and oh dear how can i  hide it?
 شلون؟
how?

لون الفرح يا ناس
The color of happiness , Oh people,
مادري بيه
I dont know it,
ولونك يا غربة
and your colors, daispora,
الف لون ولون
are one and a thousand colors

بيع الجمل يا علي
sell the camel, Ali
واشتري مهر الي
and buy my dowry
كرمي لوح واستوى
my vine is swaying and has ripened
والعنب طاب وحلي
and the grapes are good and sweet
بيع
sell
بيع
sell
بيع
sell
بيع
sell
بيع  الجمل يا علي
sell the camel, Ali

يا علي بيع الجمال
Ali, sell the camels
قبل مايضيع الجمال
before the beauty is lost
واهدي بويا ذهب ومال
and gift my father gold and money
واشتريني يا علي
and buy me , Ali

ياعلي بويا طميع
Oh, Ali, My dad is gready,
شو عندك يا حبيبي بيع
whatever you have my beloved, sell it,
لو تتأخر انا رح ضيع
if you are late I will be lost
لا تضيعني يا علي
dont lose me , Oh Ali ..


انا وانت بيكفينا
me and you will be satisfied
بيت زغير يدفينا
with a small home that warms us
ويطعمينا ويسقينا
and God of the heavens
رب السما يا علي
will feed us and provide for us

Jordanian Folklore - Oh my stubborn dad :) يا عنيد يا يابا

 They went down to the garden نزلن على البستان
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
and they died their hair with henna وحنن شعرهن
 

All girls are stars كل البنات نجوم
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
  and mom , she is their moon!  يمه وهية قمرهن

 (she is ) My eye and the water of my eye  عيني ومي عيني
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
She 's worth my family and all my relatives تسوى هلي وكل القرابا
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا


I will sit alone in the end of the night لاقعد بتالي الليل
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
And I swear I'll remember my lover والله واذكر وليفي

 And using the excuse that I had a bad dream وبحجة الحلمان
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
Oh mom , I can cry as much as I want to يمه لابكي عكيفي

 (she is ) My eye and the water of my eye  عيني ومي عيني
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا
She 's worth my family and all my relatives تسوى هلي وكل القرابا
 Oh my stubborn dad  يا عنيد يا يابا

For you to be you and for me to be me

Allow me to feel my pain
Allow me to connect with it
dont dismiss me
give me room to breathe
I need to let it all out
it is poisoning my system
the years of oppression and neglect are getting to me
I need a safe place
give me your unconditional love so that I can give you mine
feel my pain so that I can feel yours
my pain is a big part of who i am
I dont want to feel embarrassed of my pain
I am allowed to feel it !
You say : move on, move on...
how can I?
I will I know - one day maybe, when I am safe
when i am heard
Marginalized - do you know how painful that is ?
feer hurts!
Exposed...
I want to be exposed to you
with all my pain and brilliance
my genuis and depression
I dont want to be embarrased becasuse of my oppression
"it is not an issue" , you say. My life is way better that many others -
But you know, it is MINE, my pain is mine- I am the one who feels it.
My pain needs love
be gentle with my pain
my darkness needs the light of understanding
solidarity

dont dismiss me
can you accept me the way i am? with my beauty and baggage?
do you see my beauty at all?
I tell the ocean about my pain - the trees hear me

God hears me
I crave the unity of the soul , a commuinity of the heart
communion with God through you and him and her
help me drop my defences
help me get rid of my identities - I want to be whole when with you
how can i if i am not whole within myself?

help me break free from the grinding wheel - acknowledge my courage - my stuggle
embrace my schezophrania
my madness is part of me
my maddness IS me

take me as a whole
Allow me to be me so that I can seize to be me
What I feel is real even if it doesnt make sense to you
Do you know how it feels to be jailed? stripped of your freedom?
do you know how it feels to be a woman? an arab? a palestinian? an artist?
do you want to know? do you care to know?
Does anyone care to know?

why would they, depressing lamentaion ...
minority colonialism feminism
oppression stuff ... boring depressing activist blabla
why would you care ? you were born up there
on the top of the hill

but if you want to be you
i need to be me
there is no you without me
and only when you stop being you
is when I become me
and only then
is when
I stop being me
only then
you can be you
and i can be me
do you see ?
what i'm trying to say ?
yes or nay?
hey?
hello
knock knock..
anyone there
or just an empty headskin

let's both seize to be you and me,
and only be
a one amazing we

Rejection and realizing you've been rejected

I remember the first time i was rejected. I couldnt believe it. (we are talking about romantic rejection by the way) . I couldnt get over it for the longest time. I was so full of myself and couldn't comprehend, how can anyone in their right mind reject me. I thought I was unrejectable. Now I know better. I dont take personally as much as i used to. I realize people have different tastes and interests so therefore not everyone is supposed to be attracted to me. and when i dig a bit deeper , people who are not attracted to me I am not really attracted to them to start with, when i really look hard and honest inside myself , i realize that their rejection makes them look more attractive, because my focus becomes to get accepted by them instead of feeling weather there is a connection there. Now if things were this black and white , not a big problem. The real problem is when you are not sure weather you are being rejected or not, weather the person you are being involved with is just afraid or if they are really not into you. this confusion eats up a big part of the self esteem. and instead of focusing on how you feel about the person , you get sucked into speculating and interpreting this other person's signals (or the lack of signals)
recently i realized i have been rejected. i feel much better now that i am outside the speculation and guessing game. i hate mystery and guessing. so , i got rejected, good, better now than later, that means i am getting closer to my goal. i am burning down my rejection quota, anyway , someone who rejects me cannot be suitable for me . dont you think?

Emotional state

I'm feeling emotional, I know that is stupid. no, really it is stupid. nothing changed since yesterday, i only grew up one more day, i slept and woke up, received some more spam, spent a little bit more time on the PC and the TV, ate and drank...

nothing significant.

i feel rejected though. maybe because i am listening to emotional songs that are taking me back to times when i felt loved and in love. maybe because these songs are transmitting sad feelings. i wonder if i will feel happy if i listen to happy songs. am i taking on the feelings in the songs or is the song playing because it is reflecting my own feelings.

recently something happened , i met someone , and i got rejected, it didnt feel good at all. it clouded my judgment about how i feel about that person. you know what Madonna says? "rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac" do you think she is right?

The truth is that i have so much love inside me, that i need to share, to give, to express, and i keep on running into people who are afraid of love, i learned recently or not so recently that i cant express my feelings openly and freely, i cant be transparent. i never believed or followed that directive. the result, rejection or feeling rejected. having to swallow back my pride and emotional expression and crawl back in bed with old memories and fantasies of glimpses of loving moments.

Why do humans need love?? what is so special about a kiss ? about lips meeting? what happens when lips meet? how can people be so close one day and next day they are strangers. they hurt each other and say bad things about each other..

why does a song affect me so much? is it because it resonates on the deepest level with feelings i once touched and tasted? sad or happy

I dont know. i wish i knew, or maybe i dont wish, because at least i have an excuse now to be stumbling, i dont know, if i knew then i cannot justify my stumbling.

love love, they say it makes the world goes around.i love myself , but that still isnt enough, nothing is like hearing and smelling the love.

i am rambling heavily , i know. that is why God invented blogs , so that people like me ramble freely, liberally.

it will pass, the 'i need personal romantic love' fever. i think i like being in that state otherwise i can turn off the fucking music and go take a shower or a walk.. but again, no , i cant run from myself. in the shower I'll have me with me, i cant hide or run.

i tell myself this is only my domestication, it is all learned behavior. even feelings are not real, they are how we learned to react to different things.

In Star Trek there is a race called the 'Vulcans'. Vulcans were once emotional barbaric but then they decided to control themselves, they meditated and controlled their minds and emotions so that they dont get into the kind of emotional turbulence similar I am in today. they succeeded in living according to logic. But the price was high, we see in one of the episodes how Tuvac , the Vulcan became crazy eventually. In another episode it shows how when Vulcans are in sexual heat they are totally out of control.

The question is , will I even find the kind of love that i imagine and wish for? will i feel this real and deep connection with another person where there we become pure energy, where we merge but stay separate , connect on the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual, where there is no inhibitions and right and wrong, only pure transparency and childlike innocence exists, where play is the game, exploration of the soul.

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